Faith (SEAL'ed Book 5) Read online

  FAITH

  SEAL’ED #5

  AJ Alexander

  Andi Jaxon

  Contents

  Newsletter

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Epilogue

  Exclusive Content

  Also by AJ Alexander

  Also by AJ Alexander

  About AJ Alexander

  About Andi Jaxon

  Acknowledgments

  Copyright © 2018 by Andi Jaxon and AJ Alexander. All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental.

  Cover Design: PopKitty Designs

  Editing: Jenny Dillion with Prologue and Prose

  Proofreading: Dominique Laura with Dom’s Proofreading

  Newsletter

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  Sometimes a person has to go a very long distance out of his way to come back a short distance correctly. Edward Albee

  Prologue

  BECCA

  Now everything scares me, I’m not strong enough for this. I tried my hardest to pretend that I could make this work, but I don’t know if my heart can take loving another man in uniform. Every knock on the door leaves me in tears, I don’t want to live like this. However, at this point, I don’t know if I can live without him either.

  Emma, Katie, and the Twins are here for me - Always. However, even that isn’t enough right now. I want him here in my arms, but that isn’t possible. Olivia has faith, the conviction that her dead father will keep us all together. But he has made promises to me before and broken them. How can I trust him now?

  JUSTIN

  I’ve given my life for this country and never asked for anything in return - until now. I want the pain to stop, not from the broken ribs and old gunshot wounds. No, the pain from possibly losing the best thing that ever happened to me. We belong together, the three of us. A family already, not related by blood, but by the love we share for one another. I haven’t told her yet, but I love her and that little girl with every fiber of my being. They have taken root in my heart, and I’m not letting go.

  I will do anything that I must to keep them in my life, even if that means leaving my life in the military behind. I have never had a place that felt like home until I met Becca, and I don’t plan on losing it.

  1

  JUSTIN

  There comes a point in everyone’s life where you want more. More than just a nine to five job or a warm bed. You want to have a reason to come home, or better yet someone to come home to. After almost twenty years in the service, the time has come for me.

  I’ve been in the military for so long I’ve forgotten what it’s like to do anything else, devoted my life to it. When I decided to join the Navy, I was running from a life of mediocrity. To become something more than some country farm boy with no future. I had a plan, keep my head down and retire after twenty years of serving my country - then I became a SEAL. Being a SEAL is more than I could have ever imagined. It has begun to encompass my entire world. My team, my new family. Their needs above my own, their desires above my own. If I can bring them all home at the end of a mission, I consider that a good day.

  Now, it’s just me. After the close call Brass had a few months back, I can’t help but think of what I might be missing in my life. I haven’t been back home to Iowa in years, partly because my only reason to return - my baby sister. Emma is now shacked up with Jimmy, an ex-SEAL sniper and current bar owner. Logan has Katie and the twins, a family of his own. Charlie, well there really is no way to describe Avery, Amber, and Charlie’s relationship. Those three are an enigma, I have no idea how they haven’t all killed each other yet, but their love shows all over their faces.

  As for me, with my team all paired off, it’s hard to know where I even fit any longer. Girlfriends are few and far between since I don’t have time for them. I can’t even remember the last time I got my dick wet, that should be saying something. It never occurred to me that I would want something more than being a lieutenant in the Navy SEALs.

  I sit here on my couch staring at the million emails my sister has been sending me, bringing back an earlier conversation when I just returned from my last mission overseas…

  “Uh, because it's the 21st century? No one hand writes letters anymore,” I snark, trying to hide my embarrassment.

  “Really? Charlie and Logan got handwritten letters from home all the time,” Emma snaps back.

  “Seriously? Logan and Charlie also have girls waiting for their dicks when they get home. What's the deal, it's a letter.”

  “You’ve told me that you don’t usually have Internet access, so mail was the only communication in and out. Knowing that you’re going to come back from a mission to letters from home helps keep morale up.” She recite to me like a textbook. “If you’re that lonely, sign up for a pen pal before you leave next time. There are websites that will hook up deployed soldiers with lonely women stateside,” she fires back.

  I thought she was screwing with me when she told me about it originally, but nope, there really are websites out there for service members to sign up for a pen pal to write them while they are out of the country. She has been so gracious as to send me those websites.

  Multiple times a week.

  For the last month.

  My work and personal inboxes are so full of those damn websites.

  Maybe Emma is onto something, just having someone to talk to would be nice. If I died on our next mission, only my family would miss me. The thought of someone, even if it’s not romantically, worrying about whether I come home or not is new for me. How can you lead men that you don’t have a connection to? I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids, I no longer have the same motivations.

  As I crack open a beer, I let out a sigh. What could possibly happen? I don’t plan to meet the love of my life through these letters, that shit only happens in the movies. Just being able to hear my name called during mail call and knowing that someone is out there that cares is enough.

  Having made my decision, I click on the first link that pops up from Emma and create an account. As I read through all the questions, I feel like I am answering a questionnaire for a dating website than just a pen pal.

  Not that I know very much about dating websites, I’m gone too much, out of communication for weeks if not months at a time, most chicks just want a quick fuck and bounce. But maybe a pen pal will be more understanding of
the way my life works.

  I finally complete the questionnaire and hit send, releasing the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I close my laptop and head to bed. Tossing my empty beer bottle into the can on the way, I can’t help but hope that someone chooses my name. That there is someone out there who will understand that this lonely sailor is in desperate need of a friend.

  2

  BECCA

  I close my locker door and make my way out of the break room, giving Shelly a wave as I pass the desk.

  “Hey girl, don’t forget to send your letter to your hunky military man.” I can do nothing but shake my head at her antics.

  “I won’t. You know that this isn’t a dating service, right?”

  “Sure, but you never know. I may just meet my one true love in uniform through these letters.”

  This year, my team at the hospital decided to do one act of service for someone else during the holidays, seems odd that they would choose Independence Day, but who am I to argue? I have been looking for an excuse to give back to a service member for some time now. I am really excited about the idea of writing to a deployed service member and thanking them for the ultimate sacrifice. Who knows, I may even be able to make a friend out of it. The only thing about this that I’m not a fan of is we were assigned pen pals and, just my luck, I got a man. Now, I have nothing against the male species, but having to deal with another military man in my life is not something I am looking forward to. Unlike Shelly who is under the impression that this is more of a dating service than providing a service member with some much-needed supplies and good cheer during the holidays.

  “Don’t hold your breath, sweetie. Military men bring nothing but heartache, trust me, I know,” I say as I finally exit the hospital into the cold night air. I know all too well the pain being with a military member can bring to your family. As I drive toward my apartment complex, I can’t fight the memories…

  I can’t wait for him to come home! It has been a long deployment for us. Although we have been together since high school, we just got married a year before his departure. I know that I have months to go, but I have a surprise for him when he gets home, we have our own little bundle of joy on the way.

  Neither one of us were expecting children so quickly after we got married, but that didn’t stop us from trying. When it came time for him to leave and the test came up negative, I was heartbroken. However, a few weeks ago, after a fainting spell, I discovered I was indeed pregnant. I hate having to tell him something like this over the phone or in a letter, but when it’s time, it’s time.

  Suddenly, there is a knock at my door. Without thinking, I rush to the door and swing it open, two men in Marine dress uniforms are standing at my door. I suddenly can’t breathe, gasping for air as I grab onto the door handle. As if this is something they do every day, one of the men begins to speak. “Mrs. Cunningham, we regret to inform you that your husband, Sergeant Trent Cunningham was killed in action.”

  I shake my head, bringing myself back to the present. That day was the end of everything I held dear. Luckily, we were stationed near my family, so I had some help, but giving birth to our little girl, Olivia, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Olivia is the spitting image of her father with her bright blue eyes and golden blonde hair. If I hadn’t given birth to her myself, I would wonder if I was her mother.

  I had large hopes of going to Art school and becoming a graphic novel artist, but those dreams came crashing down when I discovered being pregnant and going to school were harder than they made it look on television. I decided to become a Certified Nursing Assistant instead. With the help of my parents, I began working in my hometown, but the sympathetic looks started getting to me.

  About a year ago, I got tired of being nothing more than Trent’s widow and chose to move. I knew it was going to be hard, but I discovered that I didn’t have to do any extra training to work in California, so I applied and landed a job in San Diego. I had never lived outside of Texas, but my little girl was all that mattered. Having no friends, family, or anyone else to depend on was a reality check, but we needed to have a life of our own.

  I decided that I had to put my dreams on hold to be the parent Olivia deserved. Being both a mom and dad is hard, but we have made it work. Olivia wants for nothing and is spoiled rotten by my parents. They are always begging us to come back home, but Olivia needs to grow up knowing there is life after her father’s death. If we would have stayed in Texas, I don’t think either of us would have been able to move on.

  As I pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex, I quickly head upstairs to grab Olivia from Mrs. Gonzales. Luckily for me, when I found this apartment, I was able to find a neighbor who was willing to watch Olivia while I worked. The hospital is great about only putting me on day shifts, but with that comes longer shifts and the need to work on weekends. I knock on Mrs. Gonzales’s door, out of breath from running up the stairs.

  “Good evening, darling,” she says, but before she can even get another word out, I hear Olivia shout.

  “Momma! Time home?” she says in her clipped three-year-old speech.

  “Yes, baby, it is time to go home.” I bend down to give her a kiss on the forehead before hoisting her up into my arms. “Thank you so much for keeping an eye on her,” I say to Mrs. Gonzales, but as I turn to leave, she reaches out and taps my arm.

  “I hate to say this, dear, but my son just had hip surgery and needs me to come help. He has three kids of his own.” I sigh, I don’t know where I am going to find a day care center that will accommodate my working hours, but that isn’t her problem.

  “I am so sorry that your son isn’t doing well. When do you need to leave?” I ask, holding my breath and hoping that I have a little bit of time to decide on what to do with Olivia.

  “I leave at the end of the week, but I can make other arrangements if you need more time to find someone to take care of Olivia while you are at work.”

  I reach out and grab her hand. “Don’t worry about us. Tomorrow is my day off, so hopefully I can find a day care center tomorrow.”

  “Hungey Momma!” Olivia shouts as she begins to fidget in my arms. I give Mrs. Gonzales a smile, and we make arrangements for her to keep Olivia tomorrow while I start the hunt for day care centers. Turning toward my own apartment, I send up a silent prayer to the powers that be because I have no idea what I am going to do now.

  3

  BECCA

  “Momma! Momma! Momma!” I feel my little girl jumping up and down on the bed next to me as I slowly open my eyes and smile.

  “Is it time to wake up now, princess?” I sit up and wrap my arms around her, giving her a big hug.

  “Yes! I hungey.” Her statement is punctuated by her tummy beginning to rumble.

  “Alright, guess it is time to feed the monster.” I give her tummy a small tickle before we both hop out of bed and head toward the kitchen. “Livie, go get dressed while I make breakfast. Okay?”

  “Yup, yup! I be Ba’man today!” she shouts before scurrying off toward her room. That is one thing I can say she got from me, her love for all things Batman.

  It doesn’t take long to get to the kitchen. I open the fridge and pull out what I need to make pancakes. They are Olivia’s favorite, and we rarely have a chance to have them with my schedule. Before I can even finish the first pancake, Livie comes skidding into the kitchen in her patented Batman outfit. Her hair is a rat’s nest, but she’s all smiles with her mask settled on top of her head. Batman T-shirt and rainbow-colored tutu. I can’t help but laugh as I pour her some juice.

  “Have a seat little one, breakfast is almost finished, then you are going to Mrs. Gonzales’ today while I find you a new place to play when Momma is at work.”

  “’Ore kids Momma?” she says as she climbs up into her seat.

  I sigh. I wish that there were more children around for her to play with and just be her age, but I had to take what I could get apartment wise. Living in California is
not cheap.

  “I know, Livie. I promise to find a place with lots of kids for you to play with.”

  I turn back to the griddle and finish making breakfast. I can’t help but wonder if I am going to be able to find a place that will both fit my crazy schedule and Olivia’s desire to be around more kids her age. Maybe it’s time to move back with my parents? No, I need to be my own person, and Livie needs to know that we are both just fine without Trent around.

  Having finally finished the pancakes, I make Olivia and I plates, and have a seat at the table. As usual, she inhales her breakfast and then runs off to watch cartoons while I clean up. Instead of going directly to do the dishes, I decided that now is as good of a time as any to write my first letter.

  Heading over to the small bulletin board by our phone, I pull the address and name I was given off. Lieutenant Justin McMillion, forty years old. Navy SEAL. I can’t imagine what being a Navy SEAL is like, but I know Trent always said the best thing was hearing his name called during mail call. So, I hope that even this small gesture can brighten his day.